On shyness

[lirion]

Been meaning to post about this for awhile now:

From a post by drjon:

"If someone who appears to you to be outgoing, tells you that they are shy, believe them. What you are seeing is their performance face, their coping mechanisms. It may come over as arrogance, be expressed as sarcasm, be over ebullient, or talking too much. It may exhaust them so much that they can't think too straight about the reality of a situation while they are 'performing'. It may not be a good coping mechanism. But it is not proof that they have lied about their shyness."

Just because a lot of people don't see it - I'm good at hiding in plain sight or something - doesn't mean it's not there. However I've finally come to understand that how I feel inside doesn't necessarily reflect in my outward interactions.
Still, this statement resonates.

Comments

[lirion.livejournal.com]

This would be why I only quoted the intial paragraph, yes.

That said, I've bene told by various people that a) I have presence and b) I am arrogant or aloof at social gatherings. So keeping aside the 'celebrity' nature, I do udnerstnad about the comofort of a fmailiar face.

But really the first paragraph was the one I liked.

[penguin2.livejournal.com]

Well, you do have presence! I can attest to that. But arrogant/aloof? Nope. You're just reasonably discriminating! Also, you smell fine :D