On shyness

[lirion]

Been meaning to post about this for awhile now:

From a post by drjon:

"If someone who appears to you to be outgoing, tells you that they are shy, believe them. What you are seeing is their performance face, their coping mechanisms. It may come over as arrogance, be expressed as sarcasm, be over ebullient, or talking too much. It may exhaust them so much that they can't think too straight about the reality of a situation while they are 'performing'. It may not be a good coping mechanism. But it is not proof that they have lied about their shyness."

Just because a lot of people don't see it - I'm good at hiding in plain sight or something - doesn't mean it's not there. However I've finally come to understand that how I feel inside doesn't necessarily reflect in my outward interactions.
Still, this statement resonates.

Comments

[goratrixx.livejournal.com]

I think social confidence often get confused with introversion/extroversion. Introversion isn't about whether or not you are a shy person, though shyness is often a function of introversion. Introversion or extroversion are based on levels of cortical arousal in the brain. Introverts tend to have a high level of resting arousal so are easily overwhelmed by loud noises, new situations and sudden movements, which tends to make them a bit more retiring but not necessarily inherently "shy". However extroverts don't have a lot of resting arousal so usually seek stimulation from their environment, often through outgoing behaviour.

[lirion.livejournal.com]

This is why I can say with certainty that I am an introvert.

It's a point I've had to argue even with close friends on a number of occasions. Some people simply do not get it.