On shyness

[lirion]

Been meaning to post about this for awhile now:

From a post by drjon:

"If someone who appears to you to be outgoing, tells you that they are shy, believe them. What you are seeing is their performance face, their coping mechanisms. It may come over as arrogance, be expressed as sarcasm, be over ebullient, or talking too much. It may exhaust them so much that they can't think too straight about the reality of a situation while they are 'performing'. It may not be a good coping mechanism. But it is not proof that they have lied about their shyness."

Just because a lot of people don't see it - I'm good at hiding in plain sight or something - doesn't mean it's not there. However I've finally come to understand that how I feel inside doesn't necessarily reflect in my outward interactions.
Still, this statement resonates.

Comments

[lirion.livejournal.com]

I'm talking about shyness not introversion.

Very different things.

[chaos-crafter.livejournal.com]

Oh I agree, I'm just curious. Maybe on both points then.
Do you see me as shy or not and do you see me as introverted or not.
I think the discussion in a way was about the fact that shyness does not always come across as introversion. I know whether I'm shy or not (though i'm interested which others think I am), but in a way, more relevant is whether others see me as introverted or extraverted as that's the part I can't tell just by self examination.