On shyness

[lirion]

Been meaning to post about this for awhile now:

From a post by drjon:

"If someone who appears to you to be outgoing, tells you that they are shy, believe them. What you are seeing is their performance face, their coping mechanisms. It may come over as arrogance, be expressed as sarcasm, be over ebullient, or talking too much. It may exhaust them so much that they can't think too straight about the reality of a situation while they are 'performing'. It may not be a good coping mechanism. But it is not proof that they have lied about their shyness."

Just because a lot of people don't see it - I'm good at hiding in plain sight or something - doesn't mean it's not there. However I've finally come to understand that how I feel inside doesn't necessarily reflect in my outward interactions.
Still, this statement resonates.

Comments

[sandypawozbun.livejournal.com]

Agreed. The amount of times people say to me something like, 'You're an interovert!?!? No way. You're so outgoing.

Yes, I am outgoing when I need to. I had to learn to be outgoing so kids didn't spit and bbq me in the playground. It was a learned behaviour, and is certainly not natural.

Although I seem to have no trouble talking to a complete stranger on the internet. :/ Hi!